Want Your Loved One to Quit Smoking? Here is What NOT to Do

If you have a loved one—a mum, dad, daughter, husband or best friend—who smokes, then you likely want to help him or her give up the deadly habit. But being a good quit smoking helper is not always an easy thing. And sometimes, the ways in which you try to help your loved one quit smoking can actually do more harm than good.

Depressed as he would like to quit

Depressed man smoking cigarette

So how do you become a good quit smoking helper?

Well, becoming a good quit smoking helper is actually less about knowing what to do and more about knowing what not to do. So if you are accompanying someone you care about on a quit smoking journey, here are some behaviors you should not take along on the ride:

  • Condescending Behavior: Talking down to your loved one because he or she is struggling with a bad habit is a surefire way to help him or her lose confidence and build up resentment—resentment that can later be used to blame you for a failed quit smoking attempt. As a quit smoking supporter, you need to be very empathic—even if you yourself have never smoked. Quitting smoking is both brave and hard—don’t treat the smoker you love in a way that makes him or her feel bad or ashamed or inferior. A smoker who feels like that will not be in the right psychological state to give up cigarettes.
  • Controlling Behavior: On the quit smoking journey, if you are not the smoker, then you are not in the driver’s seat. It is not your job to set ultimatums, provide willpower or make decisions vis-à-vis quitting smoking. Change is something that only comes from within. Change will only come from within the smoker—the smoker you loved will quit smoking because he or she has made the conscious decision to do so, not because you have made the decision for him or her.
  • Angry Behavior: Anger is not a constructive emotion when it comes to being a quit smoking supporter. Anger leads to fighting, shaming, and hopelessness. If the smoker you love takes a wrong turn, runs out of gas or gets a flat tire on the quit smoking journey, reacting in anger will only make things worse. Like all journeys, the quit smoking journey will have its ups and downs. It is up to you to be supportive by maintaining emotional balance and not giving in to anger.
  • Nagging Behavior: Nagging is never a way to get a positive outcome. Constantly harping on your loved one about quitting smoking while he or she is trying to quit smoking is psychologically stressful and can create tension and resentment in the relationship. Again, change comes from within. No amount of nagging on your part will create the authentic change from within needed for your loved one to quit smoking.
  • Negative Behavior: As a quit smoking supporter, you need to contribute to a positive healthy environment on the quit smoking journey. Negative thoughts, emotions and attitudes, then, should be kept at a minimum.

The quit smoking journey is not your journey. You are along for the ride as a helper—which means you need to engage in helpful behaviors. By avoiding the unhelpful behaviors listed above, you will naturally become supportive in a healthy way. And by being healthy, and truly supportive, you will increase your loved one’s chances of safe arrival at the Smoke Free City tenfold.
Are you trying to help someone you love quit smoking?   We’d love to hear your experiences and get to know you better, so don’t forget to like us on Facebook/LifeCoachToLoseToQuitSmoking.  And if you want to give us a shout-out, let the world know via Twitter/YourLifePower!

How Can You Introduce Them to Hypnosis?

Do the research, check out the Testimonials on this site. Contact us and ask for the Information pack (no cost) and this will be sent out to you.  Once you have all the facts and you feeling calm, in control and there is a loving atmosphere, then perhaps let them know how much you love them and are concerned for their health. Share the information without going into too much detail. Then leave them alone and let them find out more themselves. This may take days, weeks or months. Just be patient and wait.

Why does it take so long to decide to Quit Smoking?

I had a chap come in yesterday to quit smoking and most of the arguments with his wife were over the smoking. He said he put up with it for years and the only reason he was quitting was because of a nagging cough – not a nagging wife! So do stop the nagging because I find this hold up the decision making process. Why? Because their self esteem is possibly low because of the negative comments they may be receiving because they are still smoking, if not from you then possibly their mates.

People often hesitate because they are fearful it won’t work and they will feel an even greater failure. So go easy and be patient.

Smoking’s Impact on Children

 

Quitting smoking is something you do not only for yourself—you also do it for the people you love, particularly if you have children.

Smoking is a harmful habit for children to be around. When mom and dad have a regular smoking habit, their children are negatively affected in a variety of ways; the main problems for the children of smokers include:

  • Poor Health: Breathing in secondhand smoke—the smoke exhaled by smokers—is just as poisonous and dangerous as smoking a cigarette. For children, however, secondhand smoke is particularly dangerous because their lungs, among other body parts, are less developed and more susceptible to the harmful effects of cigarette toxins. Often, children of smokers develop issues like asthma, chronic pneumonia and other respiratory illnesses. They can also develop circulatory problems and there has even been research suggesting a link between secondhand smoke inhalation and leukemia and brain tumors in children.
  • Poor Habits: The children of smokers are exposed to their parents’ unhealthy smoking habit and thus they learn that this kind of unhealthy behavior is ok. Parents are their children’s number one role models and children are always watching mom and dad in order to mimic their behavior and learn to be adults. This is natural and the way it should be, which is why parents need to be aware of what types of habits and behaviors they are showing their children. Children learn many of the habits that they will carry with them into their adult lives, for better or worse.

As you can see, secondhand smoke is a major problem for children. And if you have children, would you consider quitting smoking immediately for them?

Quitting smoking is not an easy process, but you can learn to give up the bad habit by utilizing methods that allow you to take control of your thoughts and behaviors—methods like quit smoking hypnosis. Your life is yours to control so get in the driver seat and choose the road that leads to a healthier, smoke-free you.

Are you looking to quit smoking? Then get involved in the discussion on Facebook  and Twitter to learn more about your quit smoking options.

Parenting Methods for the Modern Parent


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For the majority of human history, parenting was an intuitive process, but in the modern world parents want to know how to parent. Many people approach parenting the same way they approach school and careers: with a manual. This has made child development and psychology a lucrative filed, as evidenced by the never ending lists of parenting books and websites. We want to know how to parent, but we want someone to tell us how.

Since parenting strategies and child development became popular in the 1940’s when Dr. Benjamin Spock introduced his seminal work Baby and Child Care, there have been a myriad of methods promoted for best raising your progeny. However, over the past ten years, many child psychologists have come to agree that parenting styles can be boiled down to three groups: Authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. Let’s take a look at the characteristics of these parenting method in order to get a better idea of how to parent and the styles that are out there:

Authoritative/democratic: Authoritative parents are all about balance: they are interested in producing well-adjusted, hard-working, well-educated kids. However, they also want to make sure their kids get some enjoyment out of their lives in addition to learning to be structured and well-behaved. Authoritative parents value combining discipline and boundaries with love and warmth. They value their children’s feelings and input but are the ultimate decision makers. They are not their children’s friends but they are not their children’s masters either.

Permissive parents: Permissive parents let their kids sit in the driver’s seat. They feel as though all members of the family are equal and do not like to create a hierarchy of authority. Permissive parents feel that kids can make their own choice and they try not to interfere by setting up structures of discipline or boundaries. They want their children to grow up with a high-sense of self-esteem and self-worth, and they feel that harsh punishment interferes with this process.

Authoritarian parents: Authoritarian parents use discipline and structure to create an efficient household, and an authoritarian household is not a democracy: children simply do as they are told. A very strict, clear system of rules and regulations rule the authoritarian home and these types of parents believe that children can only mature properly when tightly controlled.

So which of the parenting styles above is the right one? That all depends on how you look at life, but many child psychologists agree that authoritative parenting produces the healthiest children because it is all about creating balance. Children need to be loved, heard, and mirrored in order to grow up with an intact self-worth and overall sense of self, but they also need boundaries and discipline in order to learn empathy and that the world doesn’t revolve around them. Permissive parenting concentrates too much on developing self-worth and individuality, and authoritarian parenting concentrates too much on discipline, and both of these methods can actually lead to low self-esteem. It is ultimately up to you to decide how to parent, but choosing the authoritative style is likely your best bet.

If you found this article of interest and would like to be notified as more articles become available subscribe on my website www.LifeCoachToQuitSmoking.com.  Also ‘Like’ my Facebook page to get exclusive offers, share your stories and join our community at www.facebook.com/lifecoachtoquitsmoking.

Healthy Eating Habits for Healthy Moms and Babies


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If you have just welcomed your little one into the world, then it is important that you remember to eat healthy in all the hullaballoo surrounding a new baby. A nutritious diet is crucial for breast-feeding moms because they are the vesicles of nutrients at a time when crucial physical and psychological developments are taking place in their babies. The less toxins and preservatives you allow into your system while breastfeeding, the better your baby’s chance of developing into a strong child and later adult. If you are a new or expecting mom, here are a few tips for maintaining an optimally healthy diet and baby:

· Stay hydrated: It is important to stay hydrated when (if) you are breastfeeding. Drinking lots of water will help you replenish the fluid you lose from breastfeeding. Drink at least 8 if not more glasses of water a day.

· Eat your fruits and veggies: All of the vitamins and nutrients we need to support physical development and maintain our immune systems are found in fruits and veggies, and the greener the better. Babies need as many nutrients as they can get, so you need to make sure your body is a vitamin temple.

· Avoid the processed food trap: Processed food is a major danger to new mothers because it is an easy alternative when they are tired and lacking energy, but it can be very harmful both to mom and baby. Processed food drains you of energy, fills your body with unhealthy preservatives, and weakens your immune system. All of these negative health benefits are then transmitted to your breastfeeding baby.

· Make a plan: Healthy eating requires conscious planning, and this is especially true when you have an infant. A new baby can be a new set of stresses that you have never experienced, and this can throw you off and make you susceptible to developing bad eating habits. Work with your partner to develop a grocery shopping and meal plan of action that facilitates nutritious eating. Make lists, use a weekly meal planner, or make healthy food in bulk and deep freeze it. However you decide to do it, being organized about your eating habits will help you eat healthier.

Newborn babies are completely dependent on their mothers to provide them with the nutrition that they need. If you have a newborn baby then healthy eating should be your number one priority. Nutritious eating is a lifestyle choice that takes a conscious effort and good planning, but it is worth it and it makes both babies and the family environment healthier.

If you found this article of interest and would like to be notified as more articles become available subscribe on my website www.LifeCoachToQuitSmoking.com.  Also ‘Like’ my Facebook page to get exclusive offers, share your stories and join our community at www.facebook.com/lifecoachtoquitsmoking.

How to Be a Good Step-Dad


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These days, blended families are the rule and not the exception; many children are growing up in homes that feature some conglomeration of step-parents, half-siblings, full siblings, step-siblings, and biological parents. Yet despite the widespread social acceptance of blended families, the fact remains that there is often tension between step-parents and step-children; no matter how politically correct we try to be, step-parents and biological parents are not interchangeable-and they shouldn’t be. The relationship between a step-parent and a step-child is a whole different parenting ball game. This fact doesn’t undermine the value of the step-parent, it just acknowledges the diversity of family relationships and helps us recognize the need to work with the challenges that come with blended families in order to achieve a greater sense of love and security and avoid major relational problems.

There are many blended family dynamics that we could address, but let’s focus on one specific role in the blended family: the step-dad. Step-dads often struggle to understand where their step-children are coming from emotionally, and are often unsure of how to proceed in a leadership role among children who aren’t biologically his-especially if it s during their teenage years. If you are a step-dad, here are a few tips to help you navigate the rocky emotional that comes with taking on a child-rearing role in a blended family:

Accept your step-children’s emotional wounds: Take the time to see where your step-children are coming from emotionally, and do not take it personally that they may harbour resentments towards you about the loss of their father. Children have a right to be hurt and grieve the fact that their biological family is no longer together, and you have to respect this right to grief as a step-parent.

Display calm, consistent behaviour: The best thing you can do to win your step-children’s trust is be calm and dependable. Treat them consistently with kindness, respect, and authentic concern. Don’t be too bushy and don’t disrespect their boundaries.

Don’t try to replace dad: A step-dad is not a replacement dad, especially if step-children still have a good relationship with their biological father. Your job as a step-dad is not to pretend that you are the new dad, but to offer your step-children love and warmth as a positive male role model.

Be firm: While it is important not to push your step-children too hard, it is also important that they know you are still an authority figure in the home and that you require respect. Be firm and consistent in enforcing the rules of the house-if you are too much of a push over your children will resent you just as much as if you were to be totalitarian.

Step-parenting is tricky, and taking on the role of step-dad can be emotionally challenging, but it is also rewarding: blended families give their members opportunities to explore new avenues of personal growth and help them develop their capacity to love others outside of the traditional biological unit.

If you found this article of interest and would like to be notified as more articles become available subscribe on my website www.LifeCoachToQuitSmoking.com.  Also ‘Like’ my Facebook page to get exclusive offers, share your stories and join our community at www.facebook.com/lifecoachtoquitsmoking.